some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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