remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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