Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
