My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
