Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
