dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
