Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
