dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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