peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
