Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
