Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
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She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
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I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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