They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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