if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize