I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
