I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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