i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
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And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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