I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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