Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
