Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
