Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN