fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
