Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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