Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize