he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize