my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
