He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize