**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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