I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize