please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize