dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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