I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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