Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
