Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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