Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
