Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
