hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
