If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
