its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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