two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
