Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
