Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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