If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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