a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
