I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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