so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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