can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize