Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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