your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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