If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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