i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
