butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
