the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
lol hangovers are for mortals.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
