you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
