i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
