Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
