is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you win again, gameday.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
