At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
