OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
from now on my penis is your penis
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
