you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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