We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
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You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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