Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my shit smells like andre
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
