I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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